Perspective

Ten points to anyone who can tell me what this songs from!

I'd like to say I was busy, because it makes it seem like things are more exciting than they really are, but its not true. I could have muddled some sort of post, and I took pictures of an outfit I really liked the other day, I just didn't get around to moving them, and what not. So your stuck with nothing, until well this. I've been going back and forth between school and work, and its almost like a void, one you get stopped in, and its just routine enough that it's boring. Granted, I don't like to NOT know what I'm doing, that makes me stressed out and worried over nothing, but most the time I'm like that anyway. But back to the void and what not. I've realized that walking seems to be one of the things that helps get me un-stuck, well sort of. Since I got my glasses before the summer start, everything looks different. I use the phrase "Its like seeing in HD" I mean before you have glasses, you don't know any better, but now I wont go out of the house without them. It just makes everything more fantastical. I mean I've always been an artistic person, yeah, but with my glasses I see even more detail, and even more beauty in things like grass, and trees. OH I LOVE TO LOOK AT TREES NOW. The fall has always been my favorite, its just beautiful, and our blueberry bushes are turning colors and I walked past them, on my walk, and the reddest leaves ever were on them, it was just so pretty!

Back to the walking thing. College can feel overwhelming when things change. They tell you that its normal for a student to change their major three times, well I started in the spring, and just now began as a full time student at the fall semester and I've already changed mine twice, and the third time will be in the spring, simply because I missed the ten day gap to change. Its just crazy, and your mind rushes with the thoughts of what should I do now, that wasn't a good idea, what should I do now with the REST of my life. Its stressful, and I know I can't be the only one! So I walk. I walk around the lake, every once in a while I'll take my camera, but always my glasses. Even the pavement on the streets looks prettier! I always stop at the creek, and go down the path, that obviously is always changing with the season, I watch. I see the change of trees falling, the water levels, and its just relaxing. I always have that moment when I'm like

"Maybe I should do that thing Emerson did, you know with the hut?"

But even then, he cheated and took his laundry to civilization. Besides that! I find myself loving the thought of being lost in the nature that I'm almost seeing for the first time again, even when you've looked at that same spot for over eight years. Everything is changing, and that is the only thing that does stay the same, change. Which brings me back to school. Its hard not to be stressed over things, and none of my stress has been with my actual courses, its been with picking my direction, odd huh? I was thinking about it in my Theater class when my professor talked about the student directed play, I had thought about it, because I love theater, its always been something I've been drawn too, that I'd like to look at it a bit more. She mentioned it slightly, and as I thought about it more, I thought it'd be a fantastic idea! To be involved in at least one production while I was there would be nice, a good way to meet some other people but then BAM, it hit me. I have no time. Between classes, and going to work, I have two days off in the week, and when I'm not at work, I'm in class. It kind of bummed me out a bit especially since the performance was a comedy! Maybe I should look more at it? Perhaps the only time they practice would be after Seven! That would be lucky, but highly unlikely. So I'll stick that in my back pocket for now!

Back to classes and stuff. I'd like a sign, you know. January of this year, I knew what I Was doing. BAM, decided. Planned it out. By the summer, little hazy, by the END of the summer, decision changed. By this time my hand are in the air, its very crazy. To be honest, I can't even think of what I want to do right now, There so many possibilities that nothing will narrow down for me. Like one thing, I could do Business, which sub-divides into like five different things. Then we have Arts. I love me some arts. Granted the qualification of "Associate of arts" Is from theater to a history degree, heck I've even thought about an English degree. I'd love to write books ;) But I've even considered doing digital media, I'd love to help make video games, AND get paid for it.

The only thing I can tell you I don't want to go into is a Math field, that's all. Its just so hard to decide! I can remember a year ago this time, I would have chose to be like one of my biggest role models at that time, and work with students. That at this point even still sounds good, despite the fact that I'd shut that idea out a while ago. Hopefully I can find something that strikes some inspiration, and I can figure this stuff out before I'm sixty!

Its hard to decide things, but I should walk around a bit in my day without my glasses on, then put 'em on, and see things in a clearer way, maybe it'll help me make some choices. This was more of a rant post, but hey, that's okay. I'll do an outfit later.