Theres only...

Lost in the world.

Not doing much interesting lately have I?

Fly Away

its happened again .

Season three has got me hooked, even though only one of the characters is the same. Its just a fascinating show, and I love it.

This not sleeping thing?

It will be the death of me, for serious.

Didn't go to bed at all last night, but the good thing is that I'm still up and its almost five o'clock. I am staying up! Well to at least nine or so, simply to sleep through the night :/

It felt like this today.

Word

In st.louis with the sister!

Ugh.
Fml.
I hate computers, but love them at the same time.

Had a legit post,
then this stupid laptop just shut the heck off.
D<

Yeah, pretty cheesed.

It had thortons walk and everything,
it was all zen and awesome. Now i'm just to pissed off to write anything else

oh and guess who still sucks at sleeping?
I'll give you a hint; ME.

Ugh.

Not cool. Whats the point of going to bed right now? Its six o'clock. If I sleep now I'll be really late at getting up, and then I'll get that "Way to sleep the day away" Crap from my dad, and thats just not fun at all. I just, ugh. Its like Im tired, buy not. When I go to lay my head down I like wake up. It sucks and im tired of it.

Going to go watch the food network and try and sleep. Wish me luck :/

Love

go read a book.

I'm reading artichokes heart, well re reading for like the seventeenth time. Something about a good almost sort of working out story just does something to me. Mind you i'm a sucker for the love stories too, but I do like when a characters life is in distress, because well; it makes me relate to it better. Life isn't all sunshine and daisies, and that bad thing saying "The good guy never gets the girl" Well, its true, cause Karma likes to take its time. :O

Sleep is for the weary?

Its Tuesday at three thirty in the morning. I should be asleep. I have to work at eight.!

TheSims3

Guess who is an addict again?!?!?! <3

Its to early/late

i've been up all night,
why?

couldn't sleep.

Sort of didn't try :/

WWJD?

This music video is really good.
I mean, Its about religion and what not, but there really isn't much religion in it. She tries to go to the church but she turns away because the snobs there. this is a brilliantly done video, and it should be shown to many people.

So many people feel like this on a day to day basis, even if you don't think they do.

A real christian would act like the girl at the end. But sadly i've ran into way to many who would just walk past a person like this. Or they tease in class when someone tries to speak a different language. I thought being christian was being nice to people, trying to help them? Doing what you would want them to do to you, to them? its pathetic how people act now a day, and drive someone away. The people you mock, have a life that you don't even know.

There is a thing going around facebook, and i dont know the particulars but its along the lines of; that girl you just called fat? She's been starving herself and has lost almost thirty pounds. that kid you just called stupid? He has a learning disability and studies for four plus hours a night. That kid you just shoved into a locker? He gets beat enough at home.

People don't take into account that school is hell, but home is an even worse hell for some people. Or that they don't like going to school from day to day because the comments, the jokes, when all they want to do is be welcomed.

Why do people think its cool to shove someone out?

To talk about them because the way they look?

That stuff sticks to people. I know this at first hand. And then, others think that person is awesome? I've never understood how that worked. They could make me feel terrible, and nearly cause irreversible effects, but people still think there cool? My generation is absurd and can't see through a fake smile.

Theres this girl I know, and she tries her damned hardest to be friends with everyone, and when I mean everyone I really mean that. She talks to the dorks, the jocks, the art kids, all of them. She tries so hard, and yet i've heard people bring her down behind her back for it. Thats shit. and then to her face, your nice? And you go to church all the time? Is that what jesus would do? would jesus act like a person doesn't exist in a room just because years of disagreement? would he make someones life a hell to where they end it?

because that shit happens, and its not cool. Even religious people that I know are just MEAN. It's terrible, and i really hate people.

I just have a hard time with religion when i see this stuff. Girls giving it up to guys before marriage, when there religion states different, when you don't accept your fellow man, which entails respect. Just being nice. I wish society was strict at this. At home, be a rude little prick all you want, but in public, wear that smile and be nice. Because it freaking sucks for people to say stuff to you that you don't even know why they did. It hurts, and brings you confusion. Why would they let something like that happen? Is it suppose to make that person a stronger person? Because its hard to see that.

A thing that were suppose to be prideful of, by being nice to people, and people aren't, it's sickening. Especially when they are said to be "catholic". There suppose to be even more strict in the faith. I mean, my dad is one, and he will watch the pope for like eighteen hours straight when he's on during the holidays, and he could open up a bookstore with all the bibles he owns. And you know what? He helps even the dumbest of souls that crawl around here. He helps them as much as he can.

Isn't that what Jesus would do?

I just don't even know.

Maybe he would mock them, and make them feel like less of a person.

Who knows? Because no one really does, not until they kick it. By that time, its kinda to late though. But hey, listening to the bible's words and believing is called Faith, and those who have that are extremely lucky. They don't end up a bloke like me, who doesn't know what to think.


I think this long rant makes up for my post earlier today.

I feel better I guess. :/

Sick

I didn't come this far for you to make this hard for me.
And now you want to ask me "how"?

It's like - how does your heart beat, and why do you breathe?
How does your heart beat, and why do you breathe?

Why did you come here?
You weren't invited.
You were on the outside - Stay on the outside.

And now you want to ask me "why"?

It's like - how does your heart beat, and how do you cry?
How does your heart beat?

And there are some things that I'd like to figure out.
There are some things that I can do without -
Like you, and your letters that go on forever,
And you, and the people that were never friends.
never friends
never friends

With all the things that you could be,
You never could learn how to be me.
And now you want to ask me "how"?

It's like - how does your heart beat, and why do you breathe?
How does your heart beat, and why do you breathe

how do you breathe

--------------------------------

I don't feel good today. My stomach hurts, so granted I'll probably sleep all day. :/

So, for interesting posting I wish I could do something a little more elaborate than posting lyrics for a song, or just posting a picture, but honestly I've got nothing. So, deal with a really cool picture and a highly amazing song that is mellow and nice to listen to. :)

Wait. Something came to me. From the song.

I hate when people ask you "Why do you feel like that"
well frick, If i knew that, I wouldn't be in this pickle now would I?
If your lucky to know why your feeling like that, and you explain it, what Is even more frustrating is when that person your talking to shrugs it off as nothing, not a big deal, but to you its the end of your world.

Way to be. Jerk.

That's all I got...bed time now. <3

It's st.patricks day!

Some flogging Molly, for the occasion ;)

Saint Patrick's Day is a religious holiday celebrated internationally on 17 March. It is commemorates Saint Patrick, the most commonly recognized of the patron saints of Ireland, and the arrival of Christianity in Ireland.

Well, I wonder what he'd say now? About it and what not? I made cupcakes today, and don't plan on drinking anything, but I did learn how they keep the cream from seeping into irish beer!

Originally, the colour associated with Saint Patrick was blue. Over the years the colour green and its association with Saint Patrick's day grew.[18] Green ribbons and shamrocks were worn in celebration of St Patrick's Day as early as the 17th century.[19] He is said to have used the shamrock, a three-leaved plant, to explain the Holy Trinity to the pagan Irish, and the wearing and display of shamrocks and shamrock-inspired designs have become a ubiquitous feature of the day.[20][21] In the 1798 rebellion, in hopes of making a political statement, Irish soldiers wore full green uniforms on 17 March in hopes of catching public attention.[18] The phrase "the wearing of the green", meaning to wear a shamrock on one's clothing, derives from a song of the same name.

(I got all this from Wiki,lol. )



Fun fact; I am actually Irish <3
So, its kinda interesting.
I feel like I should go to church or something, but I don't even do that on Christmas...

Anyway, have a good day, whatever you do. My Mum actually made the gravy during dinner green, it looked like slime. Hahaha, but it was kind of funny. But yeah, have a fun day! I have to go to class now :/

Today Is jumbled

Just watched glee,
and I was surprised. I really enjoyed hearing the original songs they did. I know everyones like "ITS LIKE HIGHSCHOOL MUSICAL." and you know what? High school musical wasn't bad until everyone was like "omfgekyjskjtskdjfsldre" and went crazy. I really enjoyed the song Lea Michele did. She's like my hero. I love the lyrics in the song, cause its really easy to relate to. Try and fix things, help people, and it shoves back in your face. When your best isn't good enough. Its really good.

today has been a really long day actually. Woke up, and started to work right off the bat, for one. Two; we did my fasfa stuff for grants, and awesome part? Got the pell grant right off, which will pay for my associate, plus more. It might mean I'm going for bachelors in general education, but who knows. I still don't. After I knock out my gen.ed associate, I've gotten a budge and I can go to a technical school. Which i'm excited for.

After that, which took forever, by the way. I still had to work, so that's what I've been doing. I could really use some java today. Like, a lot. I'm so tired, and want to sleep its not funny. I've got to revise my paper for english, and go over the requirements, and get that done today, and if not today then before class starts tomorrow, ha. But I could use a pick me up, and the coffee pot was drained this morning when I came up to get some. I got like a shot, which I proceeded to drink black, which was a bad idea, but I got a bit I guess.

The day is only not even half over, and I want to go to bed! but I work for another six hours, so I need to keep entertained! Wish me luck

Things that matter...

1.family

and I guess two is religion.
I have a hard time with that, honestly i'm not that religious. I am just not. It hard to be when things happen that you have no control over. The phrase my mom always says is "God never puts anything on your plate that you can't handle"

...

...

...

Trust me a little less, please?

Its just like he thinks I can deal with losing, losing, and not really getting anything out of busting my hump. Is like I'm taking three steps back and one forward, when people who are cruel and mean and just flipping suck, take bounds forward and don't help anyone but themselves. I just don't get it. Sure, the bible says nothing is fair in life, i'm not looking for fair, i'm looking for some sort of relief.

Its just a pain in the arse, and hard to think positivity about.
I guess that's why they call it Faith, yeah?

Anyway, three?
Friends? I put a question mark there because honestly, its hard to trust people,
its hard to get them to do the right thing, to help them when they think your not. Its hard, and when they finally realize it, it's too late. For various reasons (moved away, or just moved apart). Its just, frazzling, and hard to grasp.

I had an amazing group of friends, then it went down hill. Then it went up hill, and then down hill again, and gradually like a roller coaster its going up and up. But you know what I wish? I wish to just find all a new. To let go of the past, present, and search for a better future, because I'm tied of holding onto what's just here in front of me, whats there at my side, whats in the past is no more its stuck in the past for a reason. I wish that being forgotten didn't hurt as much as It does. That someone being there could be there without me having to ask. Isn't that what a friend is? Is that to much to ask? To think believe in a person to do something that simple? I guess so...

Its just hard to believe I guess. To have the wonder of a child any longer, to deal with the life as an adult. Speaking of which, I'm getting glasses.

I have 20/40 vision with a slight stigmatizm. Joy, right?
It explains why I can't read the projectors in class.

Again, trust me a little less big guy.

I just, ugh. I've had a crazy week. Went on vacation, and it was defiantly a learning experience, and a long one at that.

party?

I prefer to stay home and watch a movie, or play a dance game.

Its lame, sure, but at least I don't get into trouble, and I enjoy myself.

I just ektjslkjdfgkljgkjlesjrisds right now. I feel like i'm spinning my wheels and getting no where. Its sad, but true, and it just might be the time in my existence I guess.

But whatever.

I'll get through one way or another, I just wish it was a little less, jumbled or what not. I wish people would stop sucking so much, and actually realize that if you live by what you learn in kindergarten, it might be better;;
1.its okay to cry,
2.play fair,
3. always try your best.

Thats all you need. for real.

and to dream big I guess, to actually survive, you need that!

I'm rambling on and on, and not jack is going to change by my simple rambles. but hey, it makes me feel better, right?

Thats always important, so do that

It's monday, and do you know what that means?
Pretty little liars! and watching my munchkins

Picture?
Cause I do, and I did, and for a split second I regretted it, then I realized,
I'm not the dumb ass who didn't speak up. If I hadn't said something, what do you imagine would have happened? A lot more than what did and a lot of regret on your half. I am a loud person, and its amazing. Its better to be loud, than to be quiet and over looked. I get down, sad, and upset. But news flash? At least I can look myself in the eye and say "I don't regret it".

Be proud of who you are, despite the others around you. If you don't fit in; good.
Your original, is all.

you can have fun, and make memories, but there is line when things get crazy. You can let it go, and not get wasted. You can go and have a ball without getting stupid. Its easy if your with the right company. Because who wants to live a life where they can't remember most of the night before? What's the point of that? you should have just stayed in bed ;)

Just some thoughts...haha.

iphone car ride

We drove
and drove

and some more driving.

I know why we used to drive way early in the morning, because it takes forever to get there!

oh, and my phone is dying.
But, on the plus side, we'll be home in like an hour!

<3

Its early and I should be Asleep.

Like the title says.
but it really doesn't matter.

Going to drive home in like ten hours.
If we left now we'd be home at live seven tomorrow
but that wont happen cause i'm the only one here.
Lame.
but it's okay,
they went to the red box and i'm going to bed!

This is my saturday post, i might edit it or do a double post, who knows!

pj jeans

Pajama Jeans make people LAZY! D<


that is all...

So, we've heard that song above a bazillion times since we've been here. Its kind of addicting once you've heard it seventeen times. I've really not blogged much while being here, for the lack of computer. Plus, the lack of time. We really aren't in the condo for long at all, and when we are, were making dinner, or sleeping, or watching the food network. what? Yes, the food network. i've got them addicted, and it's lovely.

We spend a lot of time in the car. Which you'd think i'd get annoyed with, and I kind of do in a way, but love it at the same time. I We only had to fill up twice to drive from central Illinois to gulf shores alabama, which is like a fourteen hour drive. That's skill. That's amazing. Plus its just a really smooth and nice ride. My car is like RAWRRRRR LISTEN TO ME COME DOWN THE STREET. It sounds like an airplane, hahahah. It's okay though cause i've realized i'm glad my first car isn't all fancy and amazing, because now i'll appreciate every car from here on after! Think about it. i mean it's a decent car. It gets me from point a to b, but its super loud, and not the prettiest thing ever. But oh well I guess.

Anyway, its been a pretty good trip, i'll chat more about it when I Get home!

It's hard to post on an iPhone, ha. Anyway, vacation is nifty amazing awesome. It's nearly half over tho :(
It'll be a sad day on Saturday. I'll give more detail when I get home and such, but it's warm and beautiful. On a quick not Want to know something annoying? The thirty day challenge on blogger. It's a fb thing, what's worse is when they do it on bog. Ugh! I'm personally doing it, sure, but why would I do it both on Facebook and blogger? Lame. :P

Im on the way out, it's shopping in the warmth and lulus for dinner! :)

You must must must

It's a lot harder than you think!

Its really just...Difficult when your not the same as everyone else.
When you don't like to drink, or party, you can feel a bit out of the regular loop. But when your the only one who wakes up in the morning and can remember what happed for the last twelve hours, its a good thing! :]

Smile

WOOOO

We made it to Bama!

spring break pt.1 for me!

Driving! And more driving. I got five hours down and now we switched an I'm in the back seat now. Haha. Went from Illinois to kentuky an were on our way to Alabama. I'm excited but a little wry cause were staying at her sisters tonight and she wants to go do something, but I'm kinda tired as it is! Haha. But it'll begun no matter what :)

sjkghkjfhfjksafm, Hahah,yeah.

Writing another paper today.
BOO.
Its Two o'clock, I have until Nine and I'm sort of almost done! yay!
anyway, short, cause i'm needing to finish.
Leaving tonight! <3
Don't know how much I'll be posting in this next week
but I'll have a lot when I get back!

On a plus side today, I have a friend who is coming over to chill for a while in a bit, so I get to see her :)

I love Jessie and The Toy Boys <3

To excited.
Just, Blah. I dyed my hair! It's just a brown color. Nothing major. Just a bit of my natural hair color more like it. It still smells like hair dye. Yuck. haha. Anyway, Class tonight, which means I have to finish my reading, cause I SO didn't last week and that quiz is going to come back and be like "FAILED." Just on the top. Really. So I'm actually going to read this week. I did the week before, and did well on that one! But yeah, that's my plan for today, If I don't get ANYTHING ELSE DONE is to get the reading finished. Then I don't know what. Probably to Hang out for a while :)

Anyway, I'm just ektjskjdgsf. Really. Its a good thing though. SO PUMPED.

Excited, like a lot.

Can we go get lost?
I can't today. Because, well I'm working. I'm working a lot today actually. BOO, but yeah! at the same time. Its so when I get back from Alabama I have a paycheck! A full one to! Which is pretty nice. I guess it works cause I just switched some hours this week with someone, and now she works my hours all next week, where I pretty much worked all hers this week. Ha. Anyway, I am SO EXCITED for Alabama its not even funny. Were going to Gulf Shores, AL. It's so pretty, and I'm so excited! Ah!

I don't really have anything else on my mind other than the fact of how much fun I want to have while I'm there. Bah. I Have class tomorrow, and I should really Email my professor, and get my work before I go into class tomorrow, but that really might get ignored...Oops. Its not like he wont tell me tomorrow. He's done the same class work for like twenty five years plus. So, I don't think its that big of a deal.

But yeah, I'm just really pumped! I still don't really know how much money I should bring, and who to get stuff for. I have like a bazillion people in my family. I think I might just get something for my sister, mom and dad. And two friends? Maybe. Yuck! It just depends on how much money I bring with me. I just feel so scattered! I might not post a lot next week. I'll try to get on and say how my day's been but I'll only have my iPhone, so I don't know how well it will work!


Anyway, I'm off for the day, I don't have anything much else to say!

Oh...Look...It's March!