Unsure.

So its been a while since I've actually done much of any deep thoughts or musings, hasn't it? I thought I'd give it a go!

"Mistakes are only proof that your trying"

Its true, you know. No one can make a mistake if they don't try. That seems to be part of my problem as of late. The whole jumping off the cliff thing where even the slightest step one way might cripple me forever. The idea of college, picking a profession? I can't seem to do it. One person will tell me its not that big of a decision, then the next will tell me how important it is to get a good job, make lots of money and by that definition I will be successful. But what kind of society do we live in to create such a lie. I can't manage to pick what I want to do. When I first started out college I had theater as a major, then I stopped being so idealistic, and changed from my passions into business. Then at that point I took a class that made me realize that what I'm good at, that's what I should do. Why be mediocre in something that I sort of like when I can be brilliant at something I love?

But there are so many things that aren't okay with that. I'm idealistic, but I have just enough balance to keep my feet on the ground. To be honest I would love nothing more to just focus all my thoughts on acting, I mean who doesn't love to be a different person than you are? The feeling of the house lights going down, the curtains closing, its just amazing from any stand point when you love a good show, and I don't just mean stage either. Movies are the same, the deep emotions, just in different ways. Its just frustrating how much I love that stuff and how little of a chance it is to be number one, because without that, what is the point? Sure you can be average, but why can't you feel great about it? But at the same time what tells you that number one has to be the best? If you are number four hindered and sixty five and you are happy with your progress, isn't that just as or if not, more important?

I have a lot to figure out, don't I!?